The depths to which I feel immense failure are breaching undiscerned levels. My job, my skills, my entire experience is hauled out in front of me to validate as authentic, as an actual reality that is capable of being valued. My writing is easily and swiftly mimicked by AI—reducing my output to just another scribble a toddler makes—destined for the recycle bin. My entire coding skillset is duplicable by an untrained nepo-baby writing in his list of wants into a prompt and having an AI generate the code that I probably could not even write. My method of introspection is only an inefficient Markov chain, turning out rote word processions that blanket diverse ideas into a poorly woven pattern—where AI can introduce surprise, cohesion, and rationality into my mystical word salads that are bound to repetition.

I can produce nothing meaningful, I can consume nothing meaningful. I am death reaping himself—being in this state I can only ask how I am to live like this? How does anyone live like this? Why are my days plagued by this specter—who I am many times unable to fight off. Why do toddlers draw?

Wealth, AI, and the Double-Edged Gift

To start to answer these questions I need to spend some time thinking about how deeply the evils of wealth have been entrenched in my person. It has permeated itself through my thinking and has colored, for better and for worse, the perspective I have taken on this problem. The gifts of wealth are fairy gifts—they come with a hidden cost or obligation. Also: the supposed gifts of AI come with a dear cost and obligation. So in my acceptance of wealth and its curses—I shall also draw a parallel to AI and accepting its gifts and curses. It may be encouraging that I have accepted once and moved forward to no devastation.

What Is to Come

The time of prophecy is passing away. The big unknowns of AI have effectively been answered to all. What can we expect from the entrance of AI? Not an apocalypse, not nuclear war, but a desertification of social media is evident. The loss of the integrity in independent study, and the freedom of lowering the barrier to access of information. We lose so much to gain such ephemeral things: the logging of a natural forest to build a canvas on which pastoral scenes are painted.

I cannot stay here and gamble with speculating what the impact of AI might be. I must decide now to grow effective means of conquering that AI-plagued world. I have decided that AI will cause rupture, discord, and disruption. Now that that is clear, I must understand this schism and effectively put my person on the side which will be one constituting peace and abundance. In this choice lies either death or favorable business.

Diagnosis and Strategy

In my current state I cannot solve this problem or make a prudent course of action: I am distracted, disordered, and confused. The best action I can take now is to alleviate these three illnesses from myself. Each one is vastly more simple to solve than what I am to do about the division that seems to be my doom. For each sickness, I will prescribe a remedy following its description. This will instantiate an emergent regimen that will serve my natural purposes nicely.

Distracted

This problem is a persistent one, and the beating heart of the body of my problems. Distractions are numerous but they all have a common source: fucking around on the internet and watching stupid shit. Using the phone in the morning, using the phone at any time. The state of being distracted is a prison—and I am unable to do the things I want and need to do. No partial measure will work here. It must be shock therapy:

• No social media use at all
• Phone use restricted to SMS/Calls/Music/Navigation
• Delete all social media apps
• YouTube for background music only
• All news from paper

This will re-establish my will, and force me into a state of liberation to effectively use my mind in a disease-free state.

Disordered

What about my life could I say is ordered? My hygiene is haphazard, my sleep schedule is ineffective, my workout routine non-existent, my cooking schedule is packed with toxins and takeout. Even my inner thoughts are a disordered mess. But to my credit (at least) I have made it this far in this regard.

A stricter and more ambitious goal is necessary:

• Brush teeth in the morning every day
• Brush teeth in the evening, shave, take out contacts
• Clean downstairs every single day
• No dishes in sink overnight
• Wash and put away clothes all on the weekend
• Sleep at 10:30, wake at 6:30
• No stupid internet use at work — DO YOUR WORK
• Clean garden weekly
• Exercise daily
• Cook your own damn food

Confused

This state is accurately categorized as a by-product of the preceding two, but special attention should be paid here. I am bombarded with fake and over-dramatic news. I then must only re-affirm an existing habit: study.

Read the classics, read the NYT, read cultural pieces, read good books. This effort is invaluable and un-mimicable. This will instill self-confidence, and diffuse any feelings of confusion.

Closing

I have here in this short entry laid out a strong and directed strategy. Out of distractions, I seek a strong will. By disposing of disorder I champion skill over myself. And through study I will supplant confusion with self-confidence.

These accomplishments are essential parts to eke out a victory in this "battle of riches" I find myself in—and I will know the prudent thing to do when that foretold discord arises.